It’s a Wonderwillowful life

Had to do something, so emailed every GLBT org in Cleveland I could think of. Here’s the email. If you want to use it/adapt it, whatever I don’t care. Actually, please do!

Hi.
I’m hoping you can help me, and us, and our entire community.

As I sit here tonight, in front of my computer searching out information on the protests going on in California in response to the passage of Proposition 8 I was first very saddened, but soon realized this could be seen as an opportunity.

I know I’m not alone in feeling deeply and horribly wronged, outraged, hurt, scared and utterly defenseless. In this election the right for same sex couples to marry was not just denied but REVOKED in California. In Arizona and Florida laws were passed that write hatred into their states constitutions. And in Arkansas gay couples were banned from adopting children.

But you know this already.

I’m emailing you because sitting here is not enough. Standing up as one voice and showing our solidarity and SUPPORT for each other and what has happened in other parts of the country is absolutely necessary.

Some people need to be able to express their feelings, others just need to feel that they aren’t alone right now.

My hope is that there is someone among the organizations I’m emailing that is already organizing a way for us to come together in Cleveland. If that hasn’t started yet, or anyone is thinking about it, I’m hoping that this email can be the start of that.

Two blogs are currently spreading the word about protests all over the nation. In the time it has taken me to search out your emails the list has grown beyond California and Utah and into Chicago, Boston and Minnesota. And that was just 2 hours or so.

http://queersunited.blogspot.com/2008/11/listing-of-prop-8-protests-and-rallies.html

http://lezgetreal.com/

If you know of any sort of protest, rally, or candle-light vigil please email me back. If anyone is interested in organizing a specific time and place please spread the word and email me back.

In solidarity and love,

Just to get things started on blogging my trip to Paris, here’s the tweets I would have sent from the first day if they hadn’t cost me 50 cents a pop. I promise, the other days would not have been as tweetful.

Ack! I’m getting on a plane for two weeks in Paris! Soooo exciting!
3:06 pm September 16, 2008 from txt

Safely on the ground in Paris. Wondering what the hell we’re going to do all day until we meet our host in 12 hrs. Haven’t slept yet. 5:14 am September 17, 2008 from txt

On the Roissybus from CDG stuck in traffic and some guy in another van just gave Danielle his number. Gonna be a fun trip! 8:28 am September 17, 2008 from txt

Mon Dieu! Can’t find breakfast for less than 20 US dollars. I may be screwed… 9:17 am September 17, 2008 from txt

Finally found a café with wifi, and can’t use our laptops because Radio shack sold Danielle the WRONG plug converter for $50! 12:03pm September 17, 2008 from txt

Ugh… soo tired. Arms bout to fall off from lugging around bags all day. Looking for hotel to sleep a bit or we won’t be nice guests tonight 12:32 pm September 17, 2008 from txt

Couldn’t sleep at hotel, but at least got to rest. Now onto the Metro to find the suburb where our host lives and meet her at the station 5:15pm September 17, 2008 from txt

Wooowwww. Transferring at Montparnasse with all of our bags up and down countless stairs- don’t they have disabilities in France? 6:30pm September 17, 2008 from txt

Also- sweatier and more physically exhausted than I may have been in my entire life. That was hell. No other word for it. 6:31pm September 17, 2008 from txt

Heehee. Montparnasse? More like kickmyass. Even completely exhausted I can be cheesy. 6:33pm September 17, 2008 from txt

Loving our host, Vladi. Understanding of our lateness, cooked us dinner, gave us beer & strongly recommended her shower. Much better now. 9:45 pm September 17, 2008 from txt

Ok. It’s been months since I blogged. Too much going on to make sense of to other people.

One recurring theme in the months since my last post is how ridiculously small my world is getting. The Kevin Bacon effect has been influencing my life in full force.

The first of these strange coincidences came when I ran into a girl I worked with 3 years ago. It wasn’t that unusual to see her as she lives in Tremont and I was at a bar there, but oh did it ever get unusual once we started talking. She was defending her fandom of the Detroit Red Wings because she’s from Toledo. “Oh, wow!” I say “I”m from Toledo, too! How did we never know that about each other when we worked together?” But the coincidences did not stop there. We soon discovered that we’re not only both from the Toledo area, but that she was actually born and raised in Perrysburg, where my mother was born and raised and I went to 3rd, 4th and 7th grade. Perrysburg is a small town about 2 hours away so it isn’t too common to meet people from there (Perrysburgians? Perrysburgites?) Turns out she also went to the elementary school where my aunt worked as an art teacher (I still need to call my aunt and drop this girl’s name as she’s pretty sure she’ll be remembered) and that we are the same age and therefore went to 7th grade together… too freakin weird. The most bizarre came when she started naming off her friends, most of whom I remembered, and when I mentioned the one name I remembered because he was my FIRST EVER boyfriend from third grade and also my FIRST KISS, she said she dated him in high school. Holy crap. Holy crap.

The next example of tiny world-ness also occurred while sitting at a bar (I’m starting to sound like a lush) with my of my best friends. D. We’re talking shit about a boy she used to “date” and how he’s dating some 18 yr old and blah, blah, blah. The bartender overhears and asks if the guy works at a specific bar, which he does. She talks with my friend about him and through this discussion we discover that there are several other guys that they’ve BOTH dated, and that one she also knows is one of my current co-workers. Weird, weird, weird. Oh yeah, and did I mention this bartender also happens to be friends with an ex/best friend of MINE? After these two crazy coinkydinks I’m thinking Cleveland is getting far too small for me and it is definitely time I get OUT.

Now it appears it isn’t just Cleveland that is shrinking around me.

Another of my best friends, T, was in town who I’ve known for about 7 years. In the 5 years since he left Cleveland I gone to Florida to see him several times and gotten very close Joe, his best friend. One weekend Joe came to town with T, and all of T’s family for a wedding. As we’re all together we drive past Cleveland State, which prompts my buddy, who also went there, to casually mention that Joe’s cousin might have lived in the dorm at the same time I did. Joe says “He went there while in grad school”. Which seriously narrows if I would know him or not as there were couldn’t have been more than 25 grad students in the dorm and most of them lived on the quiet floor with me. “What’s his name?” I ask, thinking maybe he’ll be able to describe him enough that I’ll remember if I happened to share a table at lunch with him once, or something. “Brandon”. I must sincerely apologize to My friends sister and her husband for the shrieking that ensued. Brandon is from Boston, and along with my friend from the previous story, was one of 5 people I hung out with consistently from the dorm. For awhile there we were joined at the hip taking cabs downtown at least twice a week and drinking FAARRR too much, which was definitely entirely influenced by Brandon. I miss that kid so much. He’s among the top ten closest people to my heart, EVER. Even if we don’t stay in touch very well. Joe called Brandon before I got out of the car and left a vm that went something like “Hey, I’m in Cleveland and I’m in the car with a friend of mine who when I mentioned YOUR name she about ripped my arm off and broke my friggin ear drum” He handed the phone to me and I left a message that went something like “BrandonOHmygaawdthisisCRAZY!!! I can’t believe you’re this guy’s COUSIN! I miss you so much you fucking asshole! You should call me, since you can’t keep a cell phone long enough to keep in touch with!”

I’m saying goodbye to someone tonight that is very dear to my heart; an ex of mine i had unfinished business with until I came back into town. Let’s call him B. We dated over 3 years ago, and he hurt me very badly. I was crazy about him. Wanted very badly to understand him and help him, thought he could do the same for me. Of course I know now those were unrealistic and unhealthy ideas, but at the time I was latching onto someone I thought was finally this person I could let in and that wouldn’t be scared of my pain. I was also excited to find someone I had much in common with- a passion for art, gay rights activism, anti- racism. I went down the list and he really seemed to work. and did I mention I was crazy about him?

The hurt came from the way things ended. He just stopped calling. I finally made him talk to me and he said he was sorry but just couldn’t be in a relationship and he thought things had gotten serious too quickly but he still wanted to stay close friends. That I could have dealt with, but the fact that he got right into another relationship with a girl he soon moved in with really dug the knife in. I was hurt, but after that also pretty pissed off. My friends hated him. Things would be awkward whenever we’d run into each other, and the saddest thing is we eventually started acting like we didn’t know each other.

A few months after I came back to Cleveland I ran into him and got an entirely different reaction. He was extremely excited to see me, and expressed shock that I was willing to talk to him. He made sure to exchange numbers and said he would call soon. He called like an hour later and we talked for hours. It felt sooo good to be talking to him. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d missed his presence in my life. There aren’t many things that feel better than an ex who broke up with you and hurt you telling you that was a mistake and emphatically apologizing. He kept making comments that led me to believe he’d like to get back together with me (of course, he was newly single)- which let me tell you also felt pretty goddamned amazing. I assured myself and my friends there was no way that would happen, but I couldn’t deny to myself I still had feelings for him.

He met me at the bar I worked at one night and I was reminded of just how much fun we have together. Acting ridiculous and obnoxious with someone is something I’ve always enjoyed. We actually almost got into a fight with a guy at the bar and my boss had to tell me to calm the fuck down. it was awesome. I got a bottle of wine to drink with him at his house because I didn’t want the night to end. it was very very very very difficult not to sleep with him. Being close to him felt like a dream but I knew I’d regret it. I’m completely incapable of enjoying sex with a man right now if not during then certainly not the next day. Also I was dating a girl I liked alot and although we weren’t serious would have been hurt if I’d slept with anyone. We talked and cuddled all night. he was certain we were getting back together, but I had to really hammer home just how incapable I was of sleeping with him and how much of a mistake that would be. He understood but I was sending mixed signals and he was clearly disappointed.

We hung out one other time within the next week. I was hoping we’d be able to stay close friends and hang out alot. I’m sure I was trying to fool myself that the feelings I had for him would get easier to deal with. Luckily for both of us that theory never got tested because he started dating someone shortly after.

Saying goodbye to B is difficult because at the same time I’ll be letting go of who I was when I used to date men. When I’m ready to date men again I’ll be very very different. No control issues. No wishing the sex will be over (ok, at least not EVERY time). No boys being abused by me.

Funny how our brains work. Whenever I have money to spare and go shopping I tend to not get excited about much. It’s when I’m on a ridiculous budget or completely destitute or really need to spend the money I have on something ELSE that I will go into a store and go crazy wanting frickin everything I see.

Take my recent trip to Anthropologie (sorry, but I just can’t creat links for big chains- if you wanna go to their website google them yourself). Definitely one of my favorite stores. Not sure if I’ve ever actually purchased anything there, but it sure is fun to look. Depending on much I feel like torturing myself, that is.

For whatever reason when I was there a few weeks ago I decided to take my camera out and photograph everything I wanted. Ok, not EVERYTHING, but here are some major highlights.

Couch I drooled over for perhaps 12.8 minutes. Cost $3,350. Can’t imagine myself with a three thousand dollar couch when I can find a gorgeous antique one and reupolster it for less than one thousand, but that doesn’t make me want it any less.

I may have squeeled when I saw these. How can you be anything but giddy in the morning when holding one of these cute little buggers? Cost $who cares they’re worth it? Can’t put a price on that which makes me smile in the morning. ($24 for two teacups and $28 for teapot)

Cost about $25. Completely adorable. Also one of the least expensive pieces they have. I would rock this necklace every damn day. I don’t think I’ll buy it cuz I’m working on some bird pieces of my own… more on that in another post.

so, yah. That was my broke ass trip to Anthropologie and all I have to show are pictures. There were other items that made my pulse quicken- like the dress that was on sale from $250 to $40 that fit me perfectly, but it was far too dressy for me to have any clue where to wear it except on Easter or something. Not to mention the sheets, flatware, about 28 skirts, and some really pretty smelling candles, but they all pale in comparison to the fit throwing the above are worthy of. Think of this as sort of an Anthropologie Wish Want List. Don’t ever say I didn’t give you ideas for my birthday/Christmas/housewarming/Easter/Halloween.

today has been wonderful. almost perfect really.

It was already almost 70 when i got up this morning. The cousins came over for Roomie 1 to watch, so there were 4 small children running around. We decided to all go to the park, which is literally a block away. Me, Roomie 1, Roomie 2, and four kiddos 6 and under. The adults brought books and wore skirts and tank tops. The kids brought water guns and wore sun screen. I sat there drinking my coffee and reading my book only taking breaks to talk with the Mommas and play on the jungle gym. The rings just aren’t the same when you’re big enough for your feet to touch the ground.

Roomie 2 and I decided to go and play. We walked to Cafe Miami which is two blocks away and I’m completely in love with. I go there about 3 times a week. It was Roomie 2’s first time eating there and she fell completely in love also. It’s such a comfortable and strange place. The walls are covered in an eclectic composition of chotchkes that all speak to the personality of Larry who is the chef and runs the place. My fave is probably the large cartoon map of “The World According to Reagan”. We then walked 3 blocks to this crazy fish store I’ve never been in (we needed to check if they had koi in yet) and Roomie 2 couldn’t find the phone number for because they have like 7 signs out front each declaring some different namish sounding phrase like “WATER” or “FISH” all seemingly of equal importance. Then we got cute (cuz you never know where the day might take you) and drove off to our fave bookstore, Visible Voice, in Tremont. Found some books (Roomie 2- Suze Orman, Me- Tara McPherson and artist I discovered today and now want to marry or at the very least own) and plopped down in comfy chairs.

After half hour or so the sunshine called us into further adventure. I drove us to Little Italy, which has always been one of my fave parts of town to hang out in on a sunny day. We went to my favorite coffee shop in town, Algebra (which is not REMOTELY Italian). I wish I could describe this place to do it justice. It’s the antithesis of Starbucks. They roast the beans for coffee in a pan behind the counter and have many yummy loose teas, all of which they serve in hand thrown, misshapen and very random mugs. They also serve food. We shared the hummus and the cucumber salad. It’s a pretty big space full of comfy antique seating, shelves, tables and even doors cut into shapes as random as their pottery, everything smelling of happy hippie oil. My nose kept picking up a scent that was very Ayurvedic, throwing my brain into complete temporary bliss. We sat around for what seemed like hours relaxing and talking with our legs draped over the sides of our chairs not caring that we were wearing skirts. Pure bliss.

I started imagining while sitting there what my ideal apartment in nyc would be like. I already had a very different idea in my head of a quaint, cozy, simple place decorated in clean modern lines. Going to Algebra changed my mind. I’m now imagining a loft that evokes the same feelings I felt there today, like an oasis fromt the city. Oh and of course while I’m dreaming I’d have a band saw and all the other tools I’d need to create the space on my own. If you’re gonna dream, dream big damnit!
Also was able to answer some minor questions for myself while sitting there in my contented state. I didn’t even mind when it started to rain…

ooops! This post I wrote from before Easter somehow got lost. Sorry bout that…

I’ve been desperately in need of some Spring in my life, and luckily this weekend I got that in more ways than one.

Visited Columbus this weekend and the wonderful weather made me remember one of my favorite treats available there- Graeter’s Ice Cream. I haven’t had it in far too many years. I had a bit of an obsession with their Black Raspberry Chocolate Chip years ago when I worked at a restaurant that offered it for dessert. Can’t tell you how many evenings my co-workers and I would sneak a scoop from the cooler. Somehow I haven’t managed to have it again since I moved away from Columbus almost 10 years ago, but whenever I think of my favorite ice cream Graeter’s has always come to mind.

Almost got into a bit of a throw-down with the friend I was visiting. He hadn’t been to Graeter’s before and wanted to go to a shop I had never heard of. I looked up the other place’s website and decided I wanted both. No, really. I DID just say I wanted to eat ice cream twice in the same day, at two seperate places. And that’s just what we did.

Graeter’s was everything I remembered and more. My mouth was soooo happy. I tried the Buckeye Blitz, some kind of peanut butter ice cream with chocolate peanut butter cups. Ridiculously good, and maybe if I lived in a city with Graeter’s readily available (come to Cleveland, PLEASE!?!), or maybe if it hadn’t been so damned long since I’ve had my precious I would have gotten it, but I HAD to get the Black Raspberry Chip. Oooh myyy gaawwd. Creamy. Juicy. Huge chunks of fruit and chocolate. The stuff that dreams are made of. I’m not usually a fruity ice cream person, more of a butter pecan or vanilla chocolate chunky type, but I can’t imagine anyone not liking this stuff. Need to have it again much sooner. Like weekly.

The other place, the one my friend wanted to go to, looked intriguing from their website. Jeni’s Ice Cream has flavors you don’t see every day. I only looked at the site for two seconds before I went there, but Thai Chili and Queen City Cayenne jumped off the page. I was really excited to go to an ice cream shop that thinks outside the ice box.

Jeni’s is a foodie’s dream. The people there were awesome. I told them I’d never been there before and immediately had sample spoons being pushed my way. I had my eye on a few too many (those from above as well as about 5 others), so I was quite happy for some guidance. They had me start with Dark Cocoa Gelato and Salty Caramel. Both fabulous. Full of flavor, creamy, expertly made. I was impressed. Then I was given the Wild Berries and Lavender. I tasted the lavender just on the end. Also had the Goat Cheese with Cognac Fig Sauce, the Lapsang Souchong with Prunes in Armenac, the Dark Chocolate Zinfandel Gelato, and the Riesling Poached Pear Sorbet. This wasn’t even the whole line-up of amazing flavors. I really wanted to try the Creme Fraiche with Amarena Cherries, the Grapefruit Hibiscus Yogurt, the Maker’s Mark Butter Pecan. I could have kept trying all night but decided on the Goat cheese and the Pistachio Honey. I ooohhed and ahhhed my whole way through those two scoops of bliss. The people there were so friendly and would have clearly let me taste and talk to them about ice cream all day. And they were from Cleveland too.

found some immensely exciting tins for my kitchen for a dollar each at the Goodwill. Very pleased with their colors and square shape! As a bonus they’re good for storing food in to help keep critters away.

The above saying is from one of my favorite buttons and promotes the Cleveland International Film Festival from a few years ago. Got it from a friend who’s worked (volunteered? year round not quite sure how it works) for the CIFF for a number of years.

Every year (that I’ve lived in Cleveland) I tell myself that I’m going to see a bunch of films when the festival comes around and somehow I only ever get to one, and sometimes I don’t make it at all. If I miss it entirely it makes me quite sad. This year I’ve made plans with a few friends to go but it just hasn’t happened (mostly cuz we had a #%*&ing blizzard). Luckily today we just decided we were going down to Tower City and get tickets for whatever wasn’t sold out that looked good. Ended up getting tix for BenX. It appealed to me because it’s from the perspective of a teen with Asperger’s Syndrome, a form of Autism. One of my students when I was a Special Ed teacher has Asperger’s, so I was really curious to see how they would show their perspective.

Read the rest of this entry »

—see below for recipe

I don’t just love going to restaurants, I also really really love to cook, and I just keep loving it more. In a bit of an experimental phase right now but got a craving for an easy tried and true that my roomies hadn’t had yet. Decided it’s time for me to share more food experiences with the world, so expect to see these on a pretty regular basis. Don’t always count on a recipe though.

I know so many vegetarians that don’t eat tofu because they don’t like it or don’t know what to do with it. This is one of my favorite ways to cook tofu. I got the idea from a meat eating chef I worked with years ago that was experimenting and I’ve perfected it over time. Somehow I’ve never cooked it for any vegetarian friends. (need to put that on my todo list)

My two adult roommates who are both meat eaters (though thankfully quite veg friendly) and not fans of tofu could not stop raving. Their issues with tofu are usually a lack in flavor and a strong dislike of the texture. The pains I took to get the texture just right (freezing, marinating for 4 hours, searing until crispy) paid off because they went back for second helpings and bickered over who gets the left-overs for lunch tomorrow. There was a TON of flavor. The simple sauce adds just the right punch. I was pretty happy, and I’m usually the most critical. One toddler made no attempt to touch the stuff and the other one only liked it with the sauce.

Made me really really really miss my beautiful sake set, which I’ve never used.

Completely vegan, though not in any way intended, as well as very low sodium which was great for my roommate’s high blood pressure.

If you have leftover tofu it’s great the next day cold on a salad. Another quick way to eat the leftover is mashed up in noodles (Thai rice noodles or ramen if you’re pinched for time) with carrots or whatever veggies you have on hand chopped up in the water while the noodles cook.

YUMM!!!

Read the rest of this entry »